


Help / Hope

by Samunderthelights



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: Blow Jobs, Don't copy to another site, Fluff, Friendship, Kissing, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Zalex, this takes place after the locker room scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-07
Updated: 2020-07-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:48:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25124176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Samunderthelights/pseuds/Samunderthelights
Summary: “Look, you want to know if your dick works, or not?”"Yeah, of course."“There’s only one way to find out, isn’t there?”
Relationships: Zach Dempsey & Alex Standall, Zach Dempsey/Alex Standall
Comments: 7
Kudos: 59





	Help / Hope

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!  
> A few weeks ago I wrote a short story called Behave, and it was my first story for the 13 Reasons Why fandom. I got some really lovely feedback on that story (thank you if any of you are here!!), and it really gave me a push to keep on writing for these characters. Since then, I've been writing more, including a multi-chaptered story called Come Wander With Me, and some short stories that haven't quite come together just yet.  
> I did manage to finish writing this one. (Obviously!) It also takes place after the locker room scene, just like Behave. I know, not very original of me (sorry!), but I couldn't get the idea out of my head until I wrote it down.  
> Hopefully enjoy!  
> Xx

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah… yeah, I am,” Alex says, a small smile forming on his face. “My dick works…”

“Yeah, it does,” Zach chuckles, “We should uhm… we should probably get changed.”

Zach turns to go to his locker, but he realizes that Alex stays seated, so he looks over his shoulder, only to find Alex staring down at his crotch, an uncomfortable look on his face.

“It works a little too well?” Zach laughs, trying to make light of the whole situation, but when Alex shrugs, he sighs, and he steps up to him. “What’s wrong?”

“What if…?”

“What?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Alex says, shaking his head, before pushing himself up to his feet.

“No, tell me.”

“It doesn’t matter, Zach,” Alex spits out, not even trying to hide his embarrassment. He pushes past him, but when Zach tries to grab onto his arm, he stumbles, and he almost falls. Zach keeps hold of him though, but it only makes him feel more embarrassed, so he pushes him off, and he shakes his head.

“Clearly it does.”

“Fuck you,” Alex tries, but then he seems to let go of that defense mechanism, and he sighs. “What if this is as good as it’ll ever get?”

“You mean… you’re scared it doesn’t work like it used to?” Zach tries, not wanting to misunderstand and upset Alex even more. “It’s not like you have to go out today and have sex, right? You can…”

“Forget it.”

“No, Alex… talk to me. Are you scared girls will be disappointed, or…?”

“No, I’m not even…,” Alex says, but then he sits back down, and he looks down at his hands, too embarrassed to face Zach any longer. “I wasn’t even thinking about that.”

“Then what?”

“What if it gets hard, and then it just… I fucking _plateau_? It stops working, and this is it?” Alex explains, Zach finally beginning to see what he is worried about.

“You’re scared you can’t come anymore?”

“I guess…”

“There’s only one way to find out, isn’t there?”

“I’ve tried, okay?” Alex mumbles. “Nothing happens.”

“Come on,” Zach says, ignoring Alex’s frustrated and embarrassed groaning. “Get up.”

“Why? So I can embarrass myself even more?”

“Alex, get up!”

Alex grumbles, but he lets Zach helps him up, and he follows him into one of the toilet stalls, still not sure why he is doing this. But he is too tired, both emotionally and physically, to object.

“What the fuck are you doing?” he asks, when Zach puts down the toilet seat before sitting down on it. “Zach, I…”

“Look, you want to know if your dick works, or not?”

“Yeah, of course, but…”

“Well?” Zach asks, but when he sees Alex staring at him with a confused, almost offended look on his face, he just laughs. “It’s been a while since I’ve done this, but…”

“Done what?” Alex asks. “I’m not even sure what is happening.”

“What do you think?” Zach laughs, before gently putting his hands on Alex’s hips, and pulling him closer.

“You really don’t want to know what I’m thinking right now. Believe me.”

“Just tell me if this works, okay?”

Zach slides down Alex’s trunks, but as soon as they drop to the floor, Alex covers himself up, looking more scared than embarrassed. But Zach gently grabs hold of his hands, a reassuring smile on his face.

“Is this okay?”

“I guess.”

Zach grabs hold of Alex’s dick, and he takes it into his mouth, the shock of the sensation making Alex gasp for air. He can feel the thoughts, the questions running through his mind, but he is unable to say a word, too overwhelmed by what is happening. His brain unable to catch up just yet.

But when it fully hits him just what is happening, he lets out a chuckle, and it makes Zach look up at him, a bashful smile on his face.

“I’m sorry, man, I’ve never been any good at this.”

“No, it’s… fuck! What are we doing?” Alex laughs, but Zach just shrugs, before getting back to it, not seeming in any way bothered by this new level of intimacy between them.

Alex tries to seem as unaffected by it as Zach, but he is hard as a rock, and he knows that he isn’t fooling anyone. He closes his eyes, trying to pretend that it isn’t Zach who is sucking his dick, but someone else, anyone else. It isn’t working though, because every time he tries to picture someone else, his mind keeps drifting off to Zach. Zach in his sports uniform, Zach in his trunks, Zach sitting in front of him, his head bopping up and down. Over and over again.

“Fuck!” Alex grunts, opening his eyes again. “Zach…”

“Do you want me to stop?”

“You probably should.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s working?” Alex chuckles uncomfortably. “You’re going to make me come.”

“That’s kind of the point, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, but…”

“But?”

Alex can think of a hundred ‘buts’, but no words are coming out, and Zach takes it as his cue to continue. This time he knows that what he is doing is working, and it seems to spur him on, because Alex can feel a new sense of confidence in the way he touches him. And although he knows he shouldn’t, he keeps his eyes on him, even when he comes, Zach’s eyes only growing brighter when he realizes what he has just done.

“So…,” Zach chuckles, before wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, the move making Alex’s insides feel all wrong. It makes him want to run away and hide, pretend none of this has happened. But when Zach flashes a smile, he finds himself returning it anyway.

“I guess it still works then.”

“Yeah,” Zach laughs. “So you’ll stop worrying now?”

Alex nods, as he pulls up his trunks, not sure what to say or do after what has just happened. He doesn’t have to think about it long though, because Zach leads him out of the toilets, still smiling.

“Let’s get changed, and then I’ll drive you home, yeah?”

* * *

Alex had closed his eyes as soon as they had gotten into Zach’s car, mostly just to avoid having to talk to him. But he must have drifted off, because he wakes up when Zach gently places a hand on his arm.

“Oh, sorry…”

“It’s fine. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I…,” Alex begins, a blush creeping up on him when he remembers what had happened between them. Zach seems to notice, because he shakes his head, smiling down into his hands. “I’m sorry, but I don’t know what I’m supposed to say. Thank you?”

Zach is about to open his mouth, but when someone walks by the car, he keeps quiet. Alex takes it as embarrassment, as fear to have someone finding out, so he takes off his seatbelt, and he opens the door to get out.

“Wait, Alex…,” Zach begins, and he grabs his arm, but Alex pulls himself free, a hurt look on his face.

“Forget it. You should go, before someone sees you with me.”

“I don’t want to go,” Zach admits. “How about we hang out?”

“Why?”

“Don’t be like this.”

“Fine.” Alex rolls his eyes, but it just makes the smile on Zach’s face grow bigger. Alex doesn’t even notice though, because he is already struggling to get out of the car, right now not willing to wait for Zach’s help. So he fights to get out, and by the time he has gotten his cane out, and he has picked himself back up, Zach is standing next to him, a knowing grin on his face.

“Really, man?”

“Fuck you.”

“If that’s how you want to play it…”

“Yeah, well…,” Alex tries, but he knows that Zach can see right through him. So without another word, he leads him into the house, and into the kitchen, where they grab something to drink, before going up to his room.

Alex sits down on his bed, not sure what ‘hanging out’ with Zach is supposed to look like. But what happened earlier is still very much on his mind, and there’s an obvious tension in the room. Normally he would know what to say, what to do, but right now all he seems to be able to do is blush, and make things worse with every silent second that goes by.

“Look, man, I didn’t mean to make things awkward between us,” Zach begins. “I was only trying to help out.”

“By sucking my dick?”

“Yeah.” Zach shrugs, and Alex can’t help but laugh at the unbothered look on his face. Zach seems to consider his options, glancing over to the desk chair, before checking out the empty space next to Alex. “May I…?”

“Yeah, of course.”

Zach sits down next to Alex, but it only seems to make the tension grow, Alex’s mind beginning to go into overdrive. And when Zach flashes a small, reassuring smile, Alex finds himself returning it by kissing him. It’s only the smallest of pecks, but it’s enough to make the atmosphere change, and even Zach looks uncomfortable now.

“I’m sorry…”

“No, it’s…,” Zach begins, but instead of explaining himself, he places a hand on the back of Alex’s neck, and he pulls him in for a kiss. This is no small peck though, this is a proper kiss, one that makes Alex feel all kinds of things he know he shouldn’t be feeling. It doesn’t stop him from letting himself be drawn in by Zach’s touch though, and when he feels him gently pushing against him, he lies down on his back, curious to find out how far Zach will take this.

Zach lies down with him, and he goes on kissing him, not holding back, as he one-handedly opens Alex’s jeans, before sliding his hand in there, and grabbing hold of his dick. Only this afternoon, Alex had tried so hard to fight against his own thoughts, to force himself to think about someone else, anyone else. But this time he doesn’t even care that this is Zach Dempsey touching him, that Zach is kissing him and getting him off. In fact, it only turns him on more, and although he hadn’t even considered any of this to be an option before today, there is something about it that feels right. That makes sense.

“You’re going to make _me_ hard if you go on like that,” Zach whispers, a mischievous grin on his flushed face, when Alex lets out a soft moan.

“Good.”

“Yeah?” Zach laughs, not waiting for a reply before kissing him again, his hand still pumping away, determined to reach its goal. It doesn’t take long before Alex comes, another one of his moans disappearing into a kiss, and he finds himself sliding an arm around Zach’s waist, not ready to let go of him just yet.

“Are you okay, man? Zach laughs, but Alex just nods, still trying to come to himself. Zach seems to notice, because he gently kisses him, before resting their heads together.

“Can I touch you?”

“You don’t have to,” Zach quickly says. “I’m not doing this to get…”

“I know. But I want to.”

Zach flashes a small, almost shy smile, before sitting up. This time he seems to be the one not sure what to do or say, and Alex takes it as him having changed his mind already. So he just lies there, watching him as he cleans up, before having a drink, obviously avoiding looking at him.

“We don’t have to…”

“I’m a little nervous,” Zach admits, finally looking back to Alex. “I don’t want you to do this because you think you owe me, or… because you don’t. Owe me anything, I mean.”

“I know.”

“Good,” Zach says, and when he realizes just how nervous he has gotten over the last minute or so, he can’t help but laugh at himself. “I’m sorry, man.”

“You have no problem with sucking _my_ dick, but when I want to touch you…”

“Yeah, well, I’m not used to this, okay?” Zach admits. “Don’t believe everything you hear.”

Alex flashes a knowing smile, and Zach steps back up to him, before leaning down to kiss him.

“Are you sure about this?”

“Just shut up, will you?” Alex asks, Zach trying to keep a straight face when he one-handedly begins to fumble to undo his jeans for him. Zach can see that he is struggling though, so he opens them for him, and he slides them down to his knees, feeling more than just a little exposed.

“Impressive,” Alex mumbles, and Zach can’t help but laugh, knowing that he is nervous too and trying to make light of things. But the situation has gotten too weird, and even a joke doesn’t help.

“How the fuck do I do this?” Alex mutters, but it’s a question that needs no answer, and without hesitation, he leans forward, and grabs hold of Zach’s dick. He strokes it for a minute or so, before taking it into his mouth, trying hard to hide his nerves, but failing miserably. Zach doesn’t seem to mind though, because he gently massages his shoulders, trying to get him to relax, trying to reassure him.

It seems to work, because Alex is growing less tense, but just as they are getting into a comfortable rhythm, the door flies open.

“Alex, I’m…”

“Mom!” Alex cries out, trying his best to move away from Zach, but he knows fully well that there is no hiding what was going on. Even with Zach quickly pulling up his jeans, and flashing an innocent smile.

“I haven’t seen anything,” Mrs. Standall quickly says, and she tries her best to keep a straight face, as she turns away from the teenagers. “I promise.”

“Please just leave.”

“It’s fine, it’s…,” Mrs. Standall tries, but even in her voice they can hear her laughter. “I’m sorry! Will you be staying for dinner, Zach?”

“Oh, uhm…”

“Yes, he is. Now can you please leave?”

“Of course. Just… be safe, okay?”

“Mom!” Alex spits out, his mother leaving and closing the door behind her, but her interruption has already ruined whatever had been going on, and the embarrassment from before is nothing compared to the embarrassment now.

“I’m so sorry,” Zach tries, but Alex just shrugs. “I should go home.”

“You might as well stay for dinner now,” Alex mumbles. “It’s not like it can get any worse, right?”

“Are you sure?”

Alex shrugs his shoulders, too much having happened today for him to be sure about anything right now. But he gets up, and he leads Zach downstairs, where they find Alex’s mother setting the table. Zach immediately goes to help her, and although she is trying her best to make small talk about school, Alex can see that she is dying to ask him about what she had just walked in on.

She manages to keep her questions to herself though, all throughout dinner, and Alex couldn’t be more grateful.

After dinner he can see his mother watching him and Zach from the kitchen though, so he gets up, and he goes over to her.

“I’m proud of you,” she says, brushing her hand through his hair, a loving, motherly smile on her face.

“Me and Zach, we’re not… you know I’m not gay, right?”

“I don’t care if you are, or if you aren’t,” Mrs. Standall says, “I am so proud of you, Alex. Look how far you’ve come, after…”

“I’m sorry.”

Alex has to look away when he sees the tears forming in his mother’s eyes, before she pulls him into a hug. He feels sick to his stomach, the guilt about what he did to himself almost unbearable, but when his mother tightens her grip on him, and when he sees Zach flashing him a smile, a part of the weight that has been there for months, seems to lift off his shoulders.

“I should walk Zach to his car.”

“He doesn’t have to leave. It’s fine if you want him to spend the night,” Mrs. Standall whispers, but it only makes Alex laugh, as she lets go of him. “You’re both old enough.”

“It’s not like that,” Alex laughs, before returning to Zach, who is getting up and grabbing his things, ready to go home.  
“I’ll walk you to your car.”

“You don’t have to.”

“Yeah, I do,” Alex says, and when Zach glances over to Alex’s mother, he finds her watching them, an excited grin on her face. “She thinks we’re…”

“Yeah, I figured,” Zach laughs. “Goodbye, Mrs. Standall. Thank you for dinner.”

“Any time!”

Zach flashes a grateful smile, before quickly following Alex out of the house, to the car. But when they get there, the atmosphere changes, and it’s obvious that they will have to talk about the elephant in the room.

“So…”

“We’ll just forget about it, okay?” Alex suggests, and Zach nods. “It’s not like it’s going to happen again, right?”

“Right… I’d like us to still be friends though.”

“Are we?” Alex scoffs, “Friends?”

“I hope so,” Zach admits, and in that moment, he seems more vulnerable than Alex has ever seen him before. “I’d like us to be.”

“Yeah, me too.”

“Good. So I’ll come and pick you up tomorrow?”

“You know what my mom will think, if you keep showing up here, right?” Alex asks, but Zach just shrugs, as he opens the car door. “I tried to tell her, but…”

“There are worse thinks she could be thinking.”

“Yeah?” Alex laughs, but Zach just flashes a big grin, before getting into the car, and closing the door behind him. He gives a little wave, that big grin still on his face, as he fastens his seatbelt, before driving off.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Alex mutters to himself, before going back into the house, trying his best to ignore his mother. But when he catches himself thinking about what has happened today, he finds himself grinning from ear to ear.

“You look happy,” his mother says, when she joins him on the sofa.

“I am. I think.”

“Because of a certain someone?” his mother teases, and Alex wants to explain to her again that it’s not like that between him and Zach, but the grin on his face only grows bigger. “Well, I hope we’ll be seeing a lot more of him. If he can put a smile on your face…”

“I hope so too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr : https://samunderthelights.tumblr.com/


End file.
